Fragments

Part 1: Self-Awareness

Here is a little trick that our bad wiring plays on us. We slap a label on someone—adoration or disdain—and instantly convince ourselves it arises from pure, razor-sharp logic — Objective. Fact-based. (Only if we’re awake enough to notice we’re even judging.)

I feel a warm glow? Clearly, s/he’s radiating virtue. A cold sneer? Obviously, s/he’s objectionable. Maybe even dangerous.

Sure, the quick label works for the rare saint or monster. But most humans? Muddy mixtures. Only under pressure do the hidden extremes flash. Otherwise, the surface remains calm enough, and that’s good enough.

A fleeting resemblance to someone in the past—a smirk, a stride, a timbre—drags up an old ghost. Gossip turns whispers into poison streams. A cherished grudge or shiny ideology tilts the scale.

Or maybe breakfast just sat wrong, and today everyone pays.

And unhealed scars and unforgiven resentments? They lurk, coloring every glance. We arrived pre-loaded. Then we cherry-pick “evidence” to match the mood already simmering inside.

Deeper into a relationship, subtler twists and variations creep in. Will s/he back me against my rival? Does s/he soothe my raw nerves and indulge my sensitivities? Do our secret schemes align? Does s/he polish my image for the tribe?

Such questions dwarf any real measure of character—integrity, kindness, purpose. Yet we insist to ourselves, smugly but secretly: “I like good people. I reject bad ones.” We spotlight virtues in favorites, flaws in foes. Half-conscious impulses ward off any contrary evidences. It is a kind of discrimination, bias, prejudice or even bigotry, but it is a rare person that recognizes this, especially when the heat is on.

Even the “I’m not judgmental” crowd keep their pronouncements within the safe zones: race, gender, lifestyle irregularities, class. Some who are most active in what is called social justice can be very mean-spirited indeed when their focus strays off their habitual public compassion. It is a human plague, and we are all carriers to some degree.

One remedy exists. Outside the Kingdom of God, the machinery grinds on. Each one’s unique grumbling feeds the status quo. But within the Kingdom of God, forgiveness makes the mirror bearable. And transcendent power makes spiritual transformation inevitable.

(If that last line sounded like religion, try to hang tough in the midst of habitual defenses. It’s not about religion. This is something kinder and fiercer. More soon.)

Tags: humans being together

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